There’s something undeniably powerful about changing your hair—whether it’s a drastic chop or a subtle trim. For many, a haircut isn’t just about style. It can represent something deeper: growth, rebirth, or even liberation. Changing our physical appearance often reflects or triggers emotional and psychological shifts within us, and many of us walk out of the salon not just looking different, but feeling different.
I recently had a haircut at my new favorite salon—Mae Salon + Wellness—and it was a shift on so many levels. Set and setting matter in any transformation, and this experience reminded me just how important it is to feel comfortable, supported, and seen when you’re undergoing something so personal. The salon itself is like a sanctuary. Every detail is visually pleasing—from the calming earthy tones and soft lighting to the curated art and cozy seating. It does this weird, wonderful thing to your body: you exhale deeply without even realizing it, and your muscles soften as the ambiance cradles you in warmth. Being in such an intentional space allowed me to relax, be present, and fully lean into the experience of letting go.
For me, haircuts have always been more than a change in appearance—they’re markers of transformation. This January, that transformation felt especially significant. It was part two of what began back in June 2024, when I declared it my “Cut the Bullshit Year” by getting a tattoo. That ink on my skin wasn’t just for show—it was a symbol of shedding what no longer served me, a bold reminder to stop holding on to things that were weighing me down.
Now, this latest haircut marks the next phase of that journey. Just like the tattoo, this haircut wasn’t random. It felt like an intentional step into the dreams I’ve carried in my heart for so long. Sitting in that chair, surrounded by soft music and the hum of possibility, I could feel the weight of the past being snipped away with each cut. I wasn’t just walking out of the salon with a new style—I was walking out with a renewed sense of purpose.
It’s a reminder that change doesn’t happen all at once—but step by step. And with a big year ahead, it’s time to lean into that change and step into the fullest, boldest versions of ourselves.
The Power of External Shifts
We often dismiss the power of doing things that make us feel good on the outside, as if prioritizing our appearance is shallow or indulgent. But the truth is, how we present ourselves to the world can have a profound impact on how we feel inside. It’s unmistakable—the way we carry ourselves changes when we feel confident in our skin.
You know that feeling: when your hair is freshly done, when you slip on your favorite pair of jeans that hug you just right, or when you swipe on a bold lipstick that makes you feel unstoppable. Suddenly, you’re walking taller, making eye contact with ease, and radiating an energy that says, I know my worth. You aren’t necessarily doing it for anyone else—it’s a signal to yourself that you’re stepping into your power.
It reminds me of one of my favorite songs: New Shoes by Paolo Nutini. There’s a lyric that goes, “Hey, I put some new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right.” And isn’t that exactly how it feels sometimes? A simple external change—whether it’s a new pair of shoes, a haircut, or even a switch in your everyday jewelry—can act like a reset button. It’s not about vanity—it’s about aligning how you feel inside with what you’re projecting to the world.
For me, this connection is undeniable. When I got my haircut this January, it wasn’t just about a new style. It was a symbolic shift, an external marker of the internal changes I’ve been working on. Every snip felt like a physical release of old energy, and as I walked out of the salon, I felt lighter—not just in how I looked, but in how I carried myself.
Similarly, think about how you feel when you switch up your skincare routine and suddenly notice that extra glow. Or when you put on a crisp, tailored outfit instead of something you threw on at random. These aren’t just superficial changes—they’re small yet meaningful reminders of self-respect, self-investment, and self-care. When you take time to prioritize your appearance, you’re telling yourself that you matter enough to be seen fully and authentically.
Psychologists refer to this concept as enclothed cognition—the idea that what we wear and how we present ourselves can directly influence our behavior, thoughts, and confidence. It’s not about wearing expensive designer pieces or following trends. It’s about intentionally choosing the things that make you feel powerful, peaceful, or whatever emotion you’re seeking to embody. The right external shift can help you tap into the mindset you need to conquer challenges, step outside your comfort zone, or even just get through a tough day.
These small, intentional changes remind us that we’re allowed to prioritize ourselves, to embody the person we’re becoming, and to celebrate that evolution. It’s a way of saying: “This is who I am now, and I’m proud of it.” When we make these changes, we’re not just dressing up for the world—we’re dressing up for the version of ourselves that we’re ready to step into.
The Connection Between Outer Appearance and Inner Self
Our outer appearance and inner state of being are more intertwined than we often realize. Changing something external—whether it’s a haircut, a new outfit, or even a piece of jewelry—can create a ripple effect on how we feel, think, and act internally. Think of it as a symbolic reset, a way of taking ownership of your life and embracing new beginnings. Sometimes, all it takes is a small, external shift to ignite the internal change you’ve been craving.
When you think about it, our relationship with appearance is deeply ingrained in how we process identity and transformation. Throughout history, hair, fashion, and adornments have served as powerful markers of change. In ancient cultures, warriors would cut their hair before battle to symbolize readiness and sacrifice. Brides adorn themselves in intricate garments to mark a transition into marriage. Even after a breakup, people often get a “revenge glow-up,” not necessarily to spite someone else but to reclaim their identity and reassert control.
Major life events—whether it’s a wedding, a breakup, a promotion, or the start of a new journey—are often accompanied by changes in our appearance. But it’s not just about looking good; it’s about creating a version of ourselves that we feel proud to embody. The new style isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s a way of saying, This is me now. I’ve grown, and I’m stepping forward with intention.
When I got my tattoo in June, it wasn’t just about adding ink to my skin. It was my way of saying, I’m done carrying the weight of old patterns, self-doubt, and people-pleasing. With each needle stroke, that truth became more permanent, as if my body was finally catching up with what my mind and heart had been processing for months. It wasn’t about changing who I was—it was about honoring who I was becoming.
Now, with this latest haircut, it’s another milestone—another external marker of an internal transformation. But this time, it’s not just about shedding what no longer serves me. It’s about stepping boldly into the life I’ve been envisioning and no longer being afraid to take up space. Every snip felt symbolic, as if I were physically releasing pieces of the past that had been holding me back. And when I looked in the mirror afterward, I didn’t just see a new haircut. I saw a woman ready to move forward, unburdened and fully herself.
This connection between appearance and identity is why even small shifts can feel so significant. It’s why we experiment with fashion when we’re feeling adventurous or switch up our look when we need a fresh start. The confidence boost isn’t just about liking what you see in the mirror—it’s about recognizing that the person you see is evolving and stepping into their power.
Psychologically, this process can be transformative. Studies have shown that external changes, like getting a new haircut or wearing a specific outfit, can change how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. But the real magic happens when the external change aligns with the inner work we’ve been doing. It’s that alignment that makes us feel unstoppable.
Whether you’re starting a new chapter, chasing a dream, or simply ready to leave behind old narratives, external shifts can act as a bridge between the person you were and the person you’re becoming. When you’re intentional about those shifts, they don’t just make you look good—they help you step into the mental and emotional space where you can thrive.
Incorporating Wellness into Your Self-Care Routine
Feeling good on the outside starts with nurturing yourself on the inside. True self-care isn’t just about pampering—it’s about creating rituals that help you reconnect with yourself, ground your energy, and support your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. When you approach haircare, skincare, or even fashion with mindfulness, it becomes less about appearances and more about honoring your evolution and creating space for personal growth.
By making these small, intentional shifts, you’re not just changing how you look—you’re transforming how you feel. Let’s dive into some ways to blend external changes with inner self-care, creating rituals that leave you feeling empowered and aligned.
1. Scalp Massages: Grounding and Nourishing
A simple five-minute scalp massage can do wonders, not just for your hair but for your overall sense of well-being. Using nourishing oils like coconut, rosemary, or argan oil, you can create a soothing ritual that improves circulation, stimulates hair growth, and helps release tension stored in the scalp. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the scalp is linked to the body’s energy pathways (or meridians), so massaging it gently can promote balance throughout the body.
Here’s how to make this a grounding practice:
- Warm the oil slightly before applying it to your fingertips.
- As you massage your scalp in small circular motions, take slow, deep breaths and visualize any tension melting away.
- Set an intention as you do this. Perhaps you’re releasing stress, opening yourself to creative ideas, or inviting in clarity.
This isn’t just about improving hair health—it’s about pausing, being present, and giving yourself the gift of touch and relaxation.
2. Morning Outfit Rituals: Dressing with Intention
How often do you throw on the first thing you see in the morning without thinking about how it makes you feel? Your outfit is one of the first choices you make in your day, and it can set the tone for everything that follows. When you take just a few extra minutes to mindfully choose an outfit that makes you feel confident, comfortable, or powerful, you’re starting your day with intentionality.
Even if you’re working from home or running errands, wearing something that feels good can shift your energy. Think of it as a form of “wearable affirmation.” When you choose clothes that align with how you want to show up, you’re not just dressing your body—you’re dressing your mindset.
Try this:
- Before picking an outfit, pause and ask yourself: How do I want to feel today? Do you want to feel calm and grounded, bold and fierce, or cozy and nurtured?
- Pick colors, fabrics, or accessories that match that feeling. For example, if you need to feel grounded, earthy tones or soft, comfortable fabrics might be perfect. If you’re seeking boldness, maybe you opt for a statement jacket or a piece of jewelry that makes you feel powerful.
This practice isn’t about perfection—it’s about self-expression. What you wear can be a reminder that you’re stepping into your day intentionally, fully embracing the energy you want to carry with you.
3. Mindful Makeup Application: A Meditative Practice
Makeup is often seen as something rushed, part of a busy morning routine squeezed between coffee and emails. But what if you approached it as a form of meditation instead of a task to check off? Mindful makeup application can help you start your day feeling grounded, creative, and present.
Rather than focusing on “covering up” flaws, try thinking of makeup as a tool for enhancing and honoring your natural features. Use each step of the process to connect with yourself, breathe deeply, and set positive intentions for the day.
Here’s how to turn makeup into a mindful ritual:
- As you apply each product, pause and set an intention. For example, while applying foundation, you might say, I am building a strong, steady base for my day. When applying mascara, you might think, I am opening my eyes to all the opportunities today holds.
- Take slow, deep breaths between each step, allowing yourself to feel calm and present.
- Instead of rushing through the process, let yourself enjoy it. Notice the textures, scents, and sensations as you apply each product.
By the time you’re done, you won’t just look refreshed—you’ll feel aligned, with a clear sense of purpose for the day ahead.
4. Evening Wind-Down: Reflect and Recharge
Just as morning rituals set the tone for the day, evening routines can help you decompress and reflect on how far you’ve come. Take time to wind down and pamper yourself, whether it’s through skincare, journaling, or lighting calming incense. This is your time to acknowledge the small wins, release the day’s tension, and nurture your inner self.
Here’s a simple evening ritual to try:
- Light incense or a candle to signal that it’s time to transition into rest mode.
- As you do your skincare routine, imagine washing away any stress or negative energy from the day.
- Spend a few minutes journaling about any external or internal shifts you experienced. What are you proud of? What do you want to release before tomorrow begins?
This isn’t just about relaxation—it’s a form of self-recognition and gratitude.
5. Reinforcing Your Worth Through Self-Care
These rituals aren’t just about looking good—they’re about feeling empowered and aligned with your authentic self. When you take the time to honor yourself through these small acts, you’re reinforcing the belief that you are worthy of care and attention.
Self-care isn’t a reward you give yourself after crossing things off your to-do list—it’s the foundation that allows you to thrive. When you intentionally nourish yourself inside and out, you’re not just enhancing your appearance. You’re reminding yourself that growth, confidence, and healing happen when you prioritize your needs.
We often think transformation comes from big, life-changing events, but it can be as simple as a new haircut, a bold lipstick, or a pair of shoes that make you feel like you can conquer the world. These small changes have the power to reflect and inspire the growth happening within us. They remind us that transformation isn’t always about grand gestures—it’s about the little moments of self-care, self-expression, and self-recognition that help us step more fully into who we are becoming.
So, what’s your next step toward feeling more aligned and confident? Whether it’s cutting your hair, experimenting with your style, or simply taking the time to pamper yourself, give yourself permission to embrace that shift. You deserve to feel good, both inside and out, and to celebrate the beauty of your evolution every step of the way.
I’d love to hear your stories—have you ever experienced the magic of an external change that gave you an internal boost? Share your experiences in the comments below, and let’s celebrate the beauty of transformation together.
While the tips shared here are rooted in the power of mindfulness, self-expression, and self-care, they are not a substitute for professional advice. If you’re navigating deeper emotional challenges, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted wellness professional or mental health expert. We all deserve support along our journeys, and asking for help is one of the most powerful steps you can take.
Stay kind to yourself, Stay Well, and Stay Elevated!
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